"Wine Refrigerators," & Pet Rocks

In the Beginning (about 7 years ago), there was Avanti. You had your choice between a 24 bottle model or a 34 bottle model. Then came Danby, Haier - all reputable importers of small appliances. Eventually, everyone and his brother began importing Chinese dorm refrigerators and marketing them under "Private Labels." The marketing geniuses created a mystique and demand, if not a functional need.

Stateside, Marvel and U-Line had always offered front-vented, "built-in capable" alternatives produced in the U.S. and priced accordingly. Capacities have grown, aesthetic offerings have diversified and the hi-tech nonsense has taken over. Now Marvel makes Viking, U-Line makes Echelon, Sub-Zero makes a fortune .... every appliance maker has gotten into the act. And none have reinvented the laws of physics.

Wine refrigerators may. In fact, be justified in a few applications. If you live in Phoenix & are used to warmer-than-civilized household temperatures ... If you have a second home or travel extensively and the A/C thermostat is set @ 80 ... if you have a neat wet bar in the rec room and want a toy in the cabinet system ... then a wine refrigerator may make sense.

In any event, these things are not suitable for "storage" in a technical sense. We're dealing with machines and Mother Nature here, so there are no absolute answers. But any wine that is going to be around a couple of years from now belongs in a more appropriate environment than a wine refrigerator. That's why capacities are moderate (~150) ... the assumption is that you'll "consume and replace" within the next year or so.

A "wine cellar" - whether it's the size of a shoebox or a house - a cabinet, an integrated room or a locker - refers to the environment suitable for storage. That proper environment entails a lot more than just temperature.

If you only have a handful of "aging" wines, rent a locker in a proper storage facility - any major metro area will have a few. Remember, time before consumption is more relevant than the cost of the wine. A $500 bottle is much better off in a consistent 72 degree temperature for a few months than a $20 bottle is in a "wine refrigerator" for 4 years.

On the other hand, over 70% of the wine bottled is ready to drink the same day. Given that there's a $Gazillion (at last estimate) in wine inventories sitting @ 72 degrees in wine shops, restaurants and bars (all perfectly safe), there's no material difference between racking a bottle in the dining room or wine refrigerator for most folks.

We're still trying to figure out this "Multi Temp" thing. As with hamburger meat, "storage" temperature is significantly distinct from "serving" temperature for wine. The former is a matter of chemistry, the latter is purely subjective opinion. Any enclosure, somewhere between 12 and 24 cubic feet, cooled by a single machine, cannot consistently maintain a 25 degree differential internally. Even if it could, you'd have a tropical storm inside.

A consistent, single temperature of 55 - 57 degrees is optimum for any wine for long term storage. Consistency between ~ 50 and ~ 75 is perfectly OK in the short term. The wild swings that can result from under-engineered, "Multi Temp" machines aren't particularly good for the wine - and you'll ultimately be chilling or decanting a given bottle before serving anyway.
Haier, Avanti, Danby are quality imports with a stable and reputable North American presence ... Even the more expensive American products - Marvel, U-Line, Sub-Zero, Viking, etc. are obviously superior products.

On the other hand, there are a few alternative, imported "brands" that have neither the service histories, warranties, nor vendor support provided by mainstream lines. Many "brands" change manufacturers regularly based solely on which provided the cheapest production bid. Of course, the label stays the same as does the advertising verbiage.

Stick with the aforementioned names and you'll be OK. Anything actually built in the States is a safe choice as well.

These are just refrigerators - there is nothing"special" about any of them. The principles are pretty simple, as are the mechanical systems.

A true wine cellar cabinet will cool slowly and gently to avoid severe fluctuations in temperature. It must access the ambient fresh air supply in order to achieve/maintain appropriate humidity levels.

Modified refrigerators have no means by which to access the ambient absolute humidity and they cool relatively quickly. When an area is cooled quickly, the warm air (and the associated humidity) is evacuated quickly.

1/3 of the battle is temperature (mid 50's), but fluctuations can have adverse effects, long term, and the dehydrative effect of quick cooling can lead to oxidation/evaporation of the wine.

To the extent wine refrigerators accomplish anything, just keep your wine in the mid 50's. Any red wine that you remove with your 98.6 degree hands, decant and decant or allow to breathe in a 72 degree dining room will warm to proper serving temp in short order. Stick your whites and sparklings in the kitchen fridge for 1/2 an hour - or freezer for 15 minutes ....

Oh ... The Pet Rocks? They're just as useful, but probably last longer.